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Which brings me back to the quote. You can only choose to start living your dream if your dream is not dependent on someone else.
That little sentence from DH devastated me. We were having dinner at a restaurant during the conversation, and I couldn't even look at him. Of course since he's a man, he doesn't know why I've suddenly stopped talking. He knew something was wrong, and he asked if I was okay. But I couldn't say what was bothering me without bursting into uncontrollable sobs. So instead I said nothing was the matter, and saved my tears for the bathroom when I got home.
I might be overprotective about his anxiety, and mental health, but I just don't think he can handle dealing with me being upset in addition to the problems and worries that he already has.
I want to thank everyone who has been commenting on my posts. Your comments have been so supportive and uplifting. I know I can always pour my heart out here.
I think this is the hardest thing about infertility. For the longest time my husband wasn't ready for treatment, so my only hope of a child was for sex to work. It did not work. It doesn't seem fair that other couples, whether ready or not, can just dabble in some unprotected sex and all of a sudden the decision is made for them. Instead we have to wait until we are both on the same page about spending lots of money and going through countless tests and prodding and semen analyses to finally get our family. It's not fair.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely not fair! My aunt is an OB overseas, and I sent her our test results. She said keep trying naturally, but definitely start IVF. ugh. It's just so frustrating.
DeleteMy SIL got pregnant on her first month trying. I'm just dreading the day when they announce they're pregnant with their second :(
It's hard when you both aren't in the same place in the IF journey. I cried when my hubby pretty much wasn't on board after one of our consults (I had gone alone and relayed the info). However, he went to the next one with me and was ok with it after that. I guess it took coming from another man instead of me..haha Praying you can both come to a place of agreement in your journey.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your prayers Amie! I think DH still needs to come to terms with not able to get me pregnant naturally. I hope that he will be ready to move forward soon.
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